Free · the checklist we run every rewrite through
Seven checks before a sifter can score your behaviour.
Sifters score each 250-word behaviour example against the descriptor for the grade, line by line. Most examples fail not because the story is weak but because the words give the sifter nothing to tick: the first 40 words describe qualities, the verbs describe a job, and the result has no number. Run your draft through these seven checks tonight. The example lines are from our sample rewrite (an invented HEO caseworker, labelled as a sample).
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1. The first two lines say when, where and what was at stake.
“In March a customer’s identity documents did not match the address and date of birth held on our system. The case was 11 days from its 40-day target.” Not: “I am a highly motivated and proactive EO caseworker who always makes effective decisions.” The first version gives the sifter a situation to score; the second gives them nothing until line five.
2. The Task is yours, not the team's.
One decision or problem that sat with you. “As the caseworker I had to decide whether to reject, request new documents, or investigate.” If the sentence says “we had to”, the sifter cannot tell what you did.
3. The Action takes at least half the words, in order, with numbers.
What you did, step by step, first person, past tense: compared three records, phoned the customer (12 minutes), corrected the record with sign-off the same afternoon, then checked the 14 other cases from that week and found two more. A 250-word example with a 60-word Action has nothing to score.
4. Every verb is something a sifter can picture.
Compared, phoned, corrected, checked, found, chaired, drafted, refused. Not: demonstrated, utilised, ensured, was responsible for, was involved in, helped, liaised. Underline every verb in your draft; if more than two are from the second list, the paragraph describes a job, not a decision.
5. The Result has a number or a dated change.
“Cleared 9 days inside target with no appeal; two further corrections; in April my manager added the three-record check to the team’s written guidance.” Not: “the customer was happy and we avoided a complaint.” A result that changed how the team works is worth more than one that pleased one person.
6. One word lifted from the descriptor, at most.
Holistic, stakeholders, timely, effectively, proactive: the sifter knows these words because they are in the descriptor. An example built from them reads as padding, and increasingly as generated text. Show the behaviour; they will match it.
7. 240–250 words, with the count written underneath.
Most adverts say 250. Over is cut; far under reads as thin. Write “(234 words)” under each one. If the advert allows 500, use them on the Action, not on a longer opening.
The two fixes that do most of the work
The first 40 words. Delete every sentence about what kind of person you are and start inside the situation, with a month, a place and what was at stake. The sifter starts scoring on line one instead of line five.
The verb test. Underline every verb. Swap each quality-verb (ensured, demonstrated, was responsible for) for the thing you actually did (compared, phoned, corrected). The example turns from a job description into a decision, and a decision is what every descriptor asks for.
Questions
Usually because the first 40 words are about your qualities (motivated, proactive, effective) rather than a dated situation, and the verbs describe a job (was responsible for, helped, ensured) rather than a decision you made. Sifters score against the descriptor line by line; a paragraph with no situation, no decision and no number gives them nothing to score.
Situation (when, where, what was at stake, in two lines), Task (the decision or problem that was yours), Action (what you did, in order, with numbers; at least half the words) and Result (what changed, with a number or a date). The Success Profiles guidance does not require STAR by name, but it is how most sifters read a 250-word example.
Whatever the advert says, which is usually 250 words; some adverts allow 500. Write to 240–250 and put the count underneath so the sifter sees you stayed inside it. Over the limit is cut; well under reads as thin.
At most one. Sifters read the descriptor all day, and an example that repeats its phrases (holistic, stakeholders, timely, effectively) with nothing behind them reads as padding or as generated text. Show the behaviour with what you did; let them match it to the descriptor.
Yes, from your own examples only: up to four behaviours at 250 words each plus your personal statement, £49 including VAT, back within 1 day. We never invent an example and never submit anything for you. Read the sample rewrite first.
Want yours rewritten? Up to four behaviours plus your personal statement, £49, back in 1 day, from your own examples only. Send your examples. Nobody can promise a sift pass; the sift is scored by people in the department.